Decayed
by bad-karmapolice
Summary: Pip is bitten by a ghoul, narrowly surviving it thanks to Alucard, and is having trouble handling it. More AXP gayness slash.
1. Chapter 1

What's this? Another gay fic? Damnit women, whats wrong with you? Yeeees, guilty. But ah well. I liked writing this story, as improbable and unrealistic as it is. I never get tired of torturing Pip.

* * *

"_Mother fucker!_" Pip spat. He cradled his arm as the blood bubbled on the surface of skin before pouring out. Down, down sweating skin. He was hunched at the bottom of the bed; a real big and fancy king sized one with warm blankets and soft sheets. His shoulders were leaning against the mattress, and despite the thick scent of cigar smoke that wafted eternally in the room, he could still smell the horrible rotten musk and he could hear the ghoul's horrible moan, like something deep inside its chest was being torn apart. It had bitten without warning. And then Pip could only remember things in small flashes; he remembered Alucard grabbing him, turning him to face him, the vampire's mouth, strangely warm, encircling the wound and then the pressure as he sucked out the infected blood- but then after that there was only searing pain. He didn't know what happened to the ghoul, but it was pretty obvious it was destroyed by now.

And now the pain had died down considerably, but he felt ill and utterly _filthy_, as though there was some kind of new dirt on him, alien, and impossible to ever remove, to ever wash off.

"Oh, _Jesus_." Pip moaned. Alucard was crouched before him, and he was tending to the puncture marks, gently prying Pip's arm away from his chest.

"It happens." The vampire said. "Most aren't as lucky though." He was dousing the wound with some strong, bitter smelling anti-septic with a cotton swab. Pip couldn't keep his breathing even, they came in short gasps.

"It happens." He said again. The bite marks, though being properly treated, felt as though they had large fire-hot pokers embedded in them. His whole arm ringed with the pain, hot and flaring, coursing through every nerve. But the vampire was gentle.

"The pain will stop soon. I sucked out the poison - all of it. There's no trace left, none. You'll be fine." Pip nodded his head frantically, still heaving spastically.

"When'll it stop?" He gasped. The vampire eyed him, still holding the injured arm in one hand, the cotton swab with the other.

"An hour, tops."

"Oh fuck, fuck, mother _fuck_." Man, he'd wish Alucard would just slap him silly and growl '_Damn it, get a hold of yourself soldier!'_ because this was just about as pathetic as you could get – huddled there in the boss' room, half sobbing as the vampire practically kisses your booboo's. If Pip survived this, then he'd might as well just shoot himself in the head because he'll be damned if he spends the rest of his time in Hellsing - in this world – with this powerful, cocky asshole reminding him about the time he bared witness to Pip's most sad moment.

_He was bitten by a god damned hunk of corpse_. Like, the ghoul wasn't even completely there! It was only the top half of the body; legs and torso had disappeared into the night probably hours ago. The thing dragged itself around helplessly at a snails pace, and yet it had very nearly bitten a chunk out his arm. His lovely arm! And oh god, he would've been just like him; grey rotting skin, flesh all torn and eyes empty and practically falling out of his skull. The smell, the sound, the feel, the _decay_…Pip had been so close to losing absolutely everything. And he looked at his arm which the vampire held, saw how the puncture marks were red around the rim.

He finally let out an actual sob. How was this happening? He was crumbling. He'd face the most hideous situations, had faced evil ass vampires and their ghoulish armies. He had ran through a hail of bullets, had even been shot a few time, and his _eye_…So why couldn't he calm himself? Maybe it was the pain, the shock. He couldn't think straight.

Alucard watched him intensely. The door opened and Walter stepped in.

"Evening sir's." He said, as if nothing unusual at all was happening. He had a small ball of white fabric in his hand – a bandage. In the other hand he had a bottle of brandy.

"Thought you might be needing these," The butler simply said.

"Thank you, Walter." Alucard said and took the items. He gave the bottle to Pip. The bottle was opened for him already, and as he lifted it to take a sip his hand shook, the liquid in it rippling.

_How could he be so unprepared?_

The butler stood dutifully beside the vampire, as he bandaged Pip's arm. Seras had been sent to destroy the head vampire not long ago, and Integra was standing outside the door calmly. The troops had been alerted of what had happened, and they were now all sitting solemnly in their barracks, waiting for word of Pip's condition.

Once the mercenary was all cleared, he was bandaged and healthy (physically so), Integra addressed him with soft words.

"Pip," she said. "You may stay in my room for the night if you wish, until your nerves have calmed. If you have any needs, any questions, any worries need put to rest, we will all be here" Pip nodded, still shakily. He continued to cradle his arm, and Alucard still continued to crouch before him.

"You'll be perfectly fine, I assure you. You were in good hands." She glanced at Alucard, knowing that he could feel the pride and relief rolling off her. She nodded to the man again and left.

"If you wish for anything," Walter said, "I'll be in the room down the hall. You can call me on the intercom just over there." He gestured to the small metallic box on the bedside table. Pip, again, just nodded shakily.

"Goodnight, Pip." He said and followed Integra out of the room. He and the vampire were left alone. Alucard continued to stare at the human. He was on his knees and didn't look like he expected something, he just watched. He guessed that the police girl would be back very shortly, and that she'd come and visit him. Walter was off to relieve the troops of their own fears, and they'd be up there too. Well, he supposed that was a good thing. Humans need contact, silly creatures that they are.

But as Alucard made a move to get up, he felt a hand snap out, clutching his arm. He was a little startled, but didn't show it.

Pip said, "Would you stay?" in a small voice. Alucard could feel the human's trembles through the hand. His answer was slow and soft.

"Sure." He gently lifted the man up and onto the bad. He placed the bottle of liquor onto the bedside table. Pip curled into the fetal position and Alucard laid down beside him, draping his arm around the mercenary.

And then Pip dreamed about his Grandpappy and his daddy – he saw them as decayed corpses, sunken eyes, drooling and foul smelling, skin peeling off and bone glaring at him. They were sipping beer at the table on the front porch, moaning.

* * *

I'll probably continue this fic (or try and fail miserably), it has more to be discussed, and I have _plans _( fear, bitches!) So, maybe this was a little OOC? To be honest, I'd be a little scared shitless if I was bitten by a rotting guy, but oh well. Pip is a character to be explored, is all I guess. Anyways, give me a shout out, tell me what you think.


	2. Of Books and Robins

Why, whats this? Another update? HMMMM. IT LOOKS LIKE THAT BRAIN ENHANCING POTION (COUGH*LSD*COUGH) IS WORKING WONDERS HOHOHO!

* * *

When he woke up, it was morning; a light blue hue shone out from the corners of the curtains, disrupting the complete darkness that had been there just what had seemed moments ago. He had been sleeping for only a couple of hours. Alucard was still there, and so was his arm, curved over Pip's waist. They were both awake, but they didn't say anything. The previous night was becoming surreal to Pip, like maybe it didn't really happen; maybe it was a movie he saw, or a dream, or just some vivid hallucination. But he could see the bandaged arm, and the bite mark beneath it still throbbed. It was no longer the acidic sting it had been before, but a dull ache. His mouth was dry, and his bladder full, but he couldn't bring himself to move, to get off the bed – he still felt the pervious horror of last night, and could see the ghoul's demented face. Pip figured he should've said something to the vampire - a thank you, or a witty joke, or even a silly joke (had he not been so tired and shaken, he would've laughed at how messed up this was – lying next to an all powerful vampire), but his jaw wouldn't budge. He felt like a child, like he had crawled into his parent's bed because of the boogeyman.

But then…the boogeyman could very well be completely real and as horrific as every child imagines. And then he thought; 'Well, what about big foot? Aliens? Witches who hide in cottages made of lollies and eat up little brats? What about the chupacabra, that freaky little blood sucking thing from Mexico? Goblins? _Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street?_' What other creatures besides vampires and werewolves were real and walking around?

Alucard watched the man through red eyes.

* * *

When Seras saw Pip meander into the kitchen, her eyes lit up and she pounded the chair next to her, offering it to Pip. The human man sat down (more accurately, he collapsed onto it, and likewise the chair nearly collapsed under him, the damned old thing). His one eye stared at her wearily under a tired lid.

"You feeling any better, captain?" She chirped, hopefully. She was like a little bird, Seras was, Pip thought. Like a canary, with all the yellow she wore when at work (or big bird from Sesame Street), or a robin, since she was currently wearing a red and brown sweater (who on God's green earth gave her that, anyway?). And then he pictured her as Robin, with the cape and green tights, and Alucard in the bat costume, prancing from roof to roof, and fighting crime.

'_Holy crazed, psychotic, knife wielding priest, Batman!' _He snickered, internally, and wondered where Alucard had gotten too.

"Captain?" Seras asked again.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, girly. Just tired." He replied. She smiled brightly.

"That's good to hear. You've had a bit of a shocker, huh? God, I was so stunned when I heard what had happened. I was having dinner when Master told me, and he said it was you who had been bitten. Did…he really suck out the infected blood?" She stared at him expectantly with wide, blue eyes, and she absently fiddled with a loose thread on her sweater, because it was a sort of awkward question to ask.

"Yeah, he did actually. It happened damned quickly, but yeah, he did. It's sort of…how many people can say they've had first aid from a vampire, eh?" He chuckled, and she gave him a strained smile. He wondered how many people had asked him that question already. Three, four? Ah, well. Attention is attention, he supposed.

"So…" The vampire girl started, looking at the bandage on Pip's arm. She seemed to think over what it was she was saying, and so she started again.

"Uh, what did master say to you? I mean, from what Walter told me he was awfully nice to you – bizarre – and I was just wondering. Did he stay with you the whole night?" There was a little pot plant sitting atop the window sill, by the sink. It was green and vibrant, and between two little green stems that were growing out like chop sticks was a little black spider, clinging securely from its small web. Pip felt entranced by the little black arachnid, and the spider didn't budge the slightest, and it was as though it were staring right back at Pip. And Pip wondered if everything in the world had always been this strange, and if he had never noticed it before or just denied it.

"He told me that this happens, and that most aren't as lucky as I was." Pip answered her, without looking.

"Oh" she said "well, that's definitely true. I mean, it was damned lucky that master was there with you when it happened. Honestly, one can't even take a stroll down the country side without getting bothered by a damned corpse. I take strolls down the paddocks too, sometimes. Integra came with me once, and she shared one of her cigars with me. Those things are way stronger than you think, even with useless lungs…" But the rest of Seras' words were lost, because then a thought hit Pip, and he wondered why the fuck he hadn't asked it before.

_What had Alucard been doing there in the first place?_

* * *

Two days passed. Pip wasn't back in action; Integra had put him on a temporary leave of duty. He was free to go wherever; to a hotel or a friends place. He could go to a pub and get laid by whomever, but he was required to keep Hellsing alerted of his condition and whereabouts. The Geese were all glad to see him, alive and well. They ruffled his hair and shoved a glass of beer into his hands (which he gulped down in almost one go – and they all cheered, thrusting their fists in the air triumphantly). They sat down at their tables and shared jokes about Ghouls, and how they were glad they didn't have to take turns taking care of an undead, rotting Pip ('do zombies need litter boxes?' they cackled) and Pip didn't find a single one funny, but he managed a smile all the same.

"Damn, Pippy!" Adrian sang, smacking him playfully on the shoulder in the morning. "Free holiday! What'cha going to do? Catching a movie? I heard Fight Club was real good; it has Brad Pitt." Pip didn't answer him; he didn't even bother to look up from the bowl of cereal. He hadn't eaten anything from it; he just circled his spoon around and around in the milk, and the little coloured fruit loops followed like fish.

"Pip? Oi!" Adrian snapped his fingers impatiently in front of Pip's face.

"What?" He snarled, and then his face relaxed and he felt guilty.

"Sorry, you just startled me." Pip apologized. Adrian stared at him warily. It made Pip angry, but he said nothing. Later that evening, Adrian told Seras about it, and the other Geese, and the cloud of concern, darker than it had been originally, hung in the air over them, and they all became a little more wary of Pip.

He hadn't been sleeping since. The night he slept with the vampire curled next to him was the last wink of sleep he had gotten; little films of nightmares flashed every time he closed his one eye lid, and so he preoccupied himself with other things. He didn't go out, not to any pubs or any movies with Brad Pitt in them; instead he explored the vast Hellsing library, inhaling the dust and the smell of age old parchment and he ran his fingers over the spines of all kinds of books. There was this really weird one; it was called 'The death of Theodore Charlesworth', by J.J Thomas. The cover was a faded green, and when Pip opened it, pages spilled out. He muttered "fuck" under his breath and began picking them up, holding them in a pile against his chest. He held the book in his bandaged appendage, which was a little limp at his side. He brought the dismembered book to the reading chair that was set up, the one beside the window where you could see the troops training sometimes. He set the book on his lap and went about sorting the rogue pages. They were old, and a little brittle with age; they were that tea colour. Pip looked for the page numbers and began putting them in order.

"67, 69, 70, 92..." But one page caught his eye. The tiny numbers at the bottom said it was page twenty one, but Pip didn't notice because of the large mass of ink that inhabited the middle of the page. It was swirling black, spread out into a shape; a wolf's head, thick and large. The rough ebony fur was interrupted only by the eyes, which were huge and crazed, with tiny black pupils on the middle of each one, and the mouth, open and grinning so wide it reached the ears at the top of its huge head. It was mangy and looked almost diseased. Jagged teeth, white and sharp, barely hid the large tongue that hung out, sharp at the end. Each tooth was thin and looked so long that it would be impossible for the being to close its mouth, like the teeth of a piranha. The creature's body was human. It was a man's, naked and painfully skinny; hairless, too. Pip could see the bumpy ribs and the serrated spinal cord through the skin. It had claws at the end of each bony finger. The thing's body was turned to the side, but its head turned slightly the other way, as if it were addressing Pip himself, and the mercenary felt as though it was almost mocking him. And at the monster's feet was a young man, curled on the floor with his hands over his head in terror, and then underneath that were the words, black, thick and ominous; "_**VAMPIRE**_". Pip felt his blood go cold. He shot up from the chair, scattering the pages again into disarray alongside the book. He began flinging books out of the shelf that he found that first book from. He spun them around to scan the blurb, or to flick franticly through the pages, and each one he found made him growl in frustration, and he tossed them onto ground. Dust exploded around Pip, free from the confines of the bookcase and from in between the ancient books. They began to pile on the floor; Pip went through at least three whole shelves, and when he finally stopped he was panting and shaking a little bit. Each and every book was almost the same. It was always Vampire this or hellish monster that. Each one had pages with scribbles or detailed drawings of horrible creatures, grotesque and other worldly. Some were more human looking; some were not in the slightest. Some had wings, and some had several eyes, and some had spears or swords. They dribbled at the mouth, the frothed and foamed and glared and stood hunched over beautiful, sleeping women and men with hideous fangs sinking deep into skin. Pip felt trapped, because he knew that almost the whole entire library was filled with all kinds of vampires and creatures. And he thought 'How long have I gone with these things, waltzing idly around? Why didn't anybody tell me that there were things I couldn't kill? Things I can't handle?'

"There are a few other books. We have Alice in Wonderland, and we have a few history books on wars. I can look for them for you, if you like." said a voice behind him. It was deep baritone, Alucard's, with the big red coat that hung of his shoulders and all. He hadn't seen him since the night of the attack (but all throughout his absence, Pip had felt the small feeling that he was being watched, but he had put it down to trauma induced paranoia.)

"I don't…I've read Alice in Wonderland, and I've been in enough wars myself." He replied with a fake little smile. Alucard nodded to him, and then observed the scattered books on the floor.

"You've made a mess, human." He said. Pip muttered sorry and began picking them up, slipping them back into the shelf. Alucard didn't take his eyes of him.

"Why are you in here?" He asked Pip, and Pip said;

"Was bored. Big guy…where did all these books come from?" Alucard frowned at the nick name, but answered anyway.

"They came from all over. Hellsing's collected all kinds of vampire mythology – of many kinds of mythology, actually. Integra's father, Arthur – he was fascinated with Greek mythology. He insisted on calling me 'Hades' when we first met. It was annoying." He chuckled. "Some of the books were here before even I. Some are quite good, accurate, and some are just a load of superstitious horse shit, and were bought for the sole reason of making us laugh." Pip smiled, suddenly thankful to the vampire for cutting short his little…breakdown. He figured that maybe he should see someone about that.

Maybe.

"Who bought that book?" He asked, pointing to the green book by the chair. The vampire slowly approached and picked it up, examining the cover. He huffed indignantly.

"_This_ book? Captain, if you're seeking to understand the undead a little better, you'd be better off learning from Scooby doo then you are reading this piece of shit." He snickered. "It was written by a mental patient, some decades ago, and it's not really about actual vampires, like me and Seras, it's about the psyche." He tapped his head, grinning. The mercenary clapped his hands free of dust and pushed the last book into the shelf. The vampire stuffed the pages back into the green one and handed it to Pip, who stared at it.

'_The psyche'_, thought Pip,_ 'I have one of those, I think.' _And he held onto it, and was about to make his way out of the library, when he stopped to look at Alucard, who just stood there, staring.

"I'll uh…read it anyway, you know? It's not like I've got anything better to do. So, um, hey, I didn't get to say thank you for saving my ass, and for putting up with my whinging. So, I owe you one." Alucard nodded slowly, and there was an awkward silence between them, and so Pip said; "Hey, we should get some drinks some time. You drink wine, don't you? We'll get some wine then. Seeya round." And then he spun on hisheels and left the room. Alucard was left staring after him, feeling as though something good had happened, or was happening, but it was on the heels of something bad.

Pip spent the rest of the day reading the book, and then listing all the mythological creatures he could think off. He sat on his bunk with the book beside him, resting on the yellow quilt, a little notebook in his lap with the following scribbled down:

_**Fairies?**_

_**Mummies?**_

_**Dragons?**_

_**Witches?**_

_**Wizards?**_

_**Ghosts?**_

_**Demons?**_

_**Basilisks?**_

_**Cthulhu?**_

_**Ogres?**_

_**Sea monsters?**_

_**Ghouls **__- _

_**Vampires – **_

_**Werewolves **__–_ (there was a tick next to these three.)

_**Must find out.**_

_**

* * *

**_

The plot? Does it thicken? Well, wether you noticed it or not, yes, it does. What our dear friend Pippy has right here is what some like to call 'obsession'.

Not that I would know anything about obsession *shifty eyes*. Ahahaha, and yes, Alucard has an itty bitty crush on Pip, and because he hasnt really been 'playing the game' or whatever for what I presume to be a few decades, he's a little bit rusty.

what? Why yes, yes I am a bit of a fag hag. Anyway, thanks for reviewing and voicing your opinions, guys, it really lets me know that you actually read it, lol, and it always makes me smile. Until the next update, keep reaching for that rainbow.


	3. Pip's manual for the future

The book 'The death of Theodore Charlesworth' by J.J Thomas could be summarized very quickly by Pip. He'd spit half of it out, the rest he'd snarled, because this book was really doing Pip's head in.

Like, _really._ He read it rapidly, turning the pages so harshly he almost ripped them off (the ones that weren't already fallen out, that is.) It took him a whole night, and by the time he had finished he was red faced and blatantly pissed. This was a new experience for Pip, because he usually didn't let books get to him. In fact, he very rarely read any books. They just never had the power to enthrall him like they did with other people. He had read a few Stephen King books and one from Tolkien (one of the lord of the rings – he couldn't remember which one), but dirty magazines and Justice League comics were of higher value than books to Pip when he was young. So imagine what he felt when this one book sends him of his rocker.

You wanna know why?

"It's just…it's a goddamn eye opener, Roy! Have you read it? Fu-u-u-ck, it's like reading a manual about your own life!" Pip ranted. Roy raised his eye brows and began spreading peanut butter onto the bread, watching Pip flip through the pages of some old moldy book on the kitchen counter.

"Uh, really? What part of this book is like your life exactly?" He asked the younger man.

"Almost all of it! Okay, so it's not…_precisely_ my life. But key instances in the main characters life – Theodore- are just like mine! Look! Going off to war, becoming blind in one eye, meeting all these supernatural creatures…" Pip trusted his arms in the air dramatically and began waving them.

"And then what eventually happens to him…I bet you my right ball that it'll happen to me!"

"Whoa there!" Roy cut in as he twisted the lid of the peanut butter onto the jar. "Doesn't that sound a little…far -fetched to you, Pip?"

"What? Giving you my ball?" Pip asked, and Roy sighed, exasperated. In comparison to Pip, he was practically the holy god of reason right now.

"Pip, what happened to this bloke? And would you lower your voice, it's like, three a.m."

"Right, sorry." The mercenary took a breath, and the other one took a bite of his sandwich and thought; 'I'm too goddamn old for this shit.'

"Okay, so he comes back from the war, yeah? He's half blind, his missus has just left him for some other douche, and this vampire who he met during the war won't leave him alone."

And Roy said; "Now _that_ sounds familiar." Pip glared at him.

"Anyway, so this vampire – Balthazar - he's really driving Teddy mad. He makes the walls ooze with blood, he writes satanic messages all over the place- in blood- he even fills the bath tubs and the sinks with blood. He invites all these demons into Teddy's house and has a party or whatever while the man tries to sleep. He leaves all these bones in Teddy's bed, so then he has to hide them in the garden because he has no idea where Balthazar got them from, and then there are these reports of missing children…"

"What? You haven't abducted any kids have you? Didn't I talk to you about that?" Roy smirked.

"Shut. Up." Pip hisses. Roy nodded and motioned 'go on' with his hand.

"As I was saying, Balthazar is driving him completely insane, and now he's even more paranoid because he thinks that Balthazar is trying to frame him with all the kid's murders. So he starts trying to find ways to get rid of the vampire. He's already tried garlic, crosses – y'know, the cliché stuff, but it didn't work. So now he's trying the hardcore stuff. We're talking rituals, bathing himself in holy water, getting this old priest to cast some holy spell to get rid of Balthazar, but none of it works. It just makes Balthazar taunt him harder." Roy took another bite out of his sandwich and watched the frantic mercenary take a sip of water. His boy was really losing it – and his mouth was becoming a blur with all this talking.

"And then, right when Teddy tries to chase Balthazar out with a stake, there this knocking at the door. Balthazar is gone (but Teddy can still hear him laughing in his head), so he answers it. He's all worried it's the police, who he thinks have made a connection between the missing kids and him, but no, it sure as hell ain't the police."

"Who is it?" Roy asked. And admittedly, he was now officially hooked,

"It's a bunch of dead people! Zombies, ghouls. But he knows all of them, because he's the one who killed them, during the war!" Pip gasped out, his face still with an impressive dramatic flair. Roy's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.

"Really?" Roy said. Pip nodded furiously and continued.

"Yeah. People he killed in the war; the villagers and the soldiers. All the people he saw die are there, staggering at his front porch. So he locks the door and runs into his room…and hides under his blanket." Roy let out a snort.

"Well, what's the poor guy supposed to do? I'm betting he didn't have an ex-cop vampire girl with a giant silver bullet- spewing cannon on her!" Pip defended. Roy sighed again. It was too late for this. The only light to be seen was the small kitchen light bulb. It was pouring outside, and Roy's toes were freezing from the chilly tiles of the floor. But Pips shoulders were squared and his eye was blood shot, and big, blue bags under the one that wasn't concealed by the patch like a bruise could be seen from a mile off.

"So, what does he do?" Roy asked. And Pip said;

"Well…there's nothing he _can_ do." He shrugged.

"Okay. So, he gets eaten by the ghouls?" Roy asked again.

"Uh, no." Pip answered. Roy frowned and rubbed his left eye.

"So then Balthazar does." Pip shook his head.

"Maybe. The book doesn't say what happens to Teddy. It just ends with him sobbing on the floor and Balthazar is towering over him, saying 'welcome home.' Y'know, it's a cliffhanger."

"Uh-huh. Well, it's definitely an interesting book, Pip, but explain to me how any of that will happen to you." Pip gave Roy this exasperated look, as though the man had just asked him if he'd ever fired a gun before.

"What, the ghouls coming after you?" Roy said.

"Yes! Think about it! How many people have we killed during missions and jobs? How many countless fucking people have we gunned and knifed down?" Pip had begun to spit again. Roy inched away.

"A lot, Pip." Roy replied.

"Yeah? And Jesus, we've seen enough freaky hocus pocus stuff to last us a life time! Didn't you work in some fairy zoo before you joined us Geese?" The mercenary rambled.

"You're not allowed to put fairies in captivity…it was mostly kid friendly stuff. Unicorns, griffins, mock-turtles…that sort of thing." Roy half muttered.

"There's my point! I've lived my whole life in ignorant bliss regarding all this supernatural stuff! We were working together for three whole years before I knew you had worked with flipping unicorns!"

"Well, getting a job with Hellsing made it alright for me to tell you. I couldn't just prattle on about it until you'd seen something real for yourself, like Mr. Alucard." There was a great gust of wind that banged into the window. Roy stared at the cluttering thing, and felt a new fear for his friend. Pip wasn't the most stable man – Roy had been aware of that – but this was beginning to grow ugly. It was like watching a wound become infected, and Roy's eyes briefly flickered to the bandages on Pip's arm, and he could picture ghouls, blue and ragged, all leaning on each other as their intestines fall onto the welcome mat.

"What if all those people we did in…what if they come back? What if they rise from wherever they're buried and find us and tear us to shreds and gobble us up? You've seen what ghouls can do…what if we have an army of them, all bitter and angry at _us _heading our way, right now as we speak?" Pip's breathing became uneven, and his hand shot out and grasped Roy's, who flinched.

"What would we _do_, Roy?"

"Pip, you know that's pretty bat-shit crazy, yeah? Buddy boy, this is just because of what happened with you and that ghoul."

"But, _Roy_! Ain't it possible? Ain't it possible that everything we've ever been afraid of can ring our doorbell at any second?" Pip was beginning to yell.

"Uh, have you always been afraid of dead people coming back to exact revenge upon you?"

"I…well, it's not like a phobia or anything, but doesn't the thought ever come to you? I mean, the other day a vampire asked me for some bubble gum! And even just recently one of the most powerful one slept in my bed with me…"

"Wait, wait, _what_?" Roy blurted. Pip's motor mouth finally skidded to a halt and he backtracked.

"Uh, I mean…like…he was looking after me after I was bitten by that ghoul. I was really out of it and…he was very nice about it all." Roy was silent, and seemed to just be contemplating it.

"Whatever you say, Pippy boy. Look, maybe you should lay off the spooky stories, man. Get some rest, and forget about angry ghouls, yeah? Mate, you're kind of starting to scare me. You've got to chill. Am I going to have to check for monsters under your bed?"

"…no." Pip sighed (and he didn't bother to tell Roy that he had the top bunk, anyway.)

"Good. Now, no ghouls from your past are going to come marching just for you. Neither will any boogie man, werewolf, big foot, leprechaun or whatever. Are we good?" The red headed man asked. He had his hand on one hip, and the sandwich clutched firmly in the other. Roy hadn't said that since his youngest was seven, and he thought, 'good, frustrating times.'

"Yeah…I suppose I could do with some shut eye. I'm guessing I sound crazier than Jamie when we gave him those pills that one time." Pip smiled. Roy gave him a pat on the back.

"That boy frightens me sometimes." They began to head back.

Naturally, their room was as they had left it; their other two roommates sounded like their noses had been replaced with vacuum cleaners. They had to slink around random magazines, clothes, and questionable squishy things before they got settled back into their own beds.

"Roy?" Pip asked, quietly, after a reasonable time of quiet.

"Yeah, Pippy boy?"

"…."

"What? Pip?"

"…can you please give me the address of some of your witch or fairy friends?"

"….uh, _what?_"

So when they got up in the morning (more accurately, the late afternoon), Roy had angrily scribbled down an address on a slip of white paper and had then shoved it into Pip's hand.

"What is it?" Pip asked.

"A bar." Roy replied, gravely.

"A bar?" Roy sighed.

He said; "It's a bar where those that are…supernatural go to hang out. Most of them have a normal human identity so they can get jobs, but they all let loose there."

"What kind of…supernatural?"

"Witches, fairies, dwarves, trolls, bird people…"

"Bird people?" Pip cut in, and his eye was as wide as a dinner plate, and he held the paper limply in his hand.

"Yeah. Y'know, harpies, hawkmen, etc."

"Cool. You coming?" But Roy simply threw a jacket on and grabbed a pack of cigarettes.

"Nah, I've got drill, remember?"

"So I have to go by myself?" Pip asked, and he sounded a little bit desperate. Roy shook his head.

"Christ no, Pippy. They aren't fond of humans. It's bad enough they have to slave around for them in disguises all day, but they sure as hell aren't going to take one waltzing into their personal turf. They'd just pick a fight with you. Nah, bring some back up."

"Back up?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking the big guy in red, Pippy, since you've become so well acquainted." And Roy gave Pip a wink and strolled out to find the other Wild Geese, smoothing out his matted red hair as he did so. Pip was left staring at the piece of paper. He sighed and said to himself; "Well, I do owe the guy a drink."

He knocked on the tall metal door once, and listened to the echoes reverberate against the basement walls. Dust floated past Pip's face slowly, reminding him of jelly fish, and he was startled when the door was pulled open, and Alucard stared down at him.

"…Hi." Alucard said, when he decided that Pip was taking too long to say anything.

"Hey there. Uh, you still up for that drink I promised you?"

The '_mock turtle' _bar was a brick fortress. There was no window, only a single door with peeling green paint, or maybe it was mould, Pip couldn't tell. The walls were covered in ripped posters and advertisements; for concerts and bands and there was even one for the nudey club up the street. To their left, a homeless man was slumped on the ground, like a smelly gargoyle. Pip didn't need to guess why he'd never been to this particular place in London.

"How do we…get in?" Pip asked. Alucard shrugged and rolled his eyes, and moved to push the door. It opened slowly, and a great cloud of smoke wafted over them. Sweet smells invaded Pip's sense; all of them were exotic and strong, like incense. He coughed and spluttered and he felt Alucard push him forward.

Once his eye stopped watering, the room bled visible. It really betrayed the outside décor, because the inside looked like it was worth a pretty penny. The walls were covered in a vibrant paint with a gold flower pattern. Soft, red booths were spread out around it, and a chandelier hung from the ceiling, with diamonds swinging back and forth. He could see all kinds of paintings; the colours jumped out at him, and when he looked down, the floor was checkered, like a chess board, and by god, it was spotless. But the real thing that made Pip's mouth hanging open, waiting for a fly to float in, were the customers.

Close to he and Alucard, stuffed into one of those booths with dripping wet jugs of beer in their huge, meaty fists were a trio of large creatures.

Their faces were squashed, and from the slit that was the mouth were rock like, yellow and rotted teeth visible. Their eyes were black and beady like a shark's, and they had shirts stretched out over their enormous hanging bellies. They belched and let out big booming laughs, but their words were nothing but intelligible grunts and snorts.

"Ogres." Alucard whispered into his ear. Pip nodded dumbly, and eyed the rest. In another booth, he could see a pair of thin women. Their eyes were nothing more than thin slots, and their hair was like a bird's nest, tangled and the colour looked blue. One of them was clutching a jug of beer, and its fingers were like twigs; slender and stiff. They cackled and clapped their hands excitedly. Pip nudged Alucard and, as subtly as he could, pointed to them.

"Fairies." The vampire said. Pip mouthed 'oooh', as though it were completely obvious, and watched as a creature trudged slowly passed them. Its head was that of a great bull, and a thick gold ring was pierced through its nostrils, but its body was that of a muscular human man, and from the torso the bull appeared again with hairy legs and hooves. Pip knew that one: a Minotaur.

The bar was filled with these things. They were huddled in booths, or they leaned against the walls or sat by the counter as the bartender, a small, pug-faced looking man with four arms mixed drinks and idly spoke to a scale covered woman.

"Oh dude." Pip said, airily. "I am _tripping_ right now." The two men made their way to a free booth, and Alucard had his hand on Pip's shoulder, pushing him, because the man kept swaying back and forth, spinning around, trying to observe the strange company around them. They sat down, and Pip practically sank into the couch. Alucard rubbed his hands on his jeans (Pip had insisted he wear normal clothes – so now he had this simple t-shirt, jacket and these pants that he _despised_.)

"Do you actually want something to drink, or are you just going to sit there and ogle?" Alucard asked the mercenary, whose eye was currently doing the samba; it rolled around in its socket madly. Alucard laughed.

"You look like a retard." And Pip was jolted from his stupor.

He said "Wha-a-a-t?" And Alucard just rolled his eyes and meandered over to the bartender to order some drinks. He came back with beer, and Pip glugged his down, and absently wondered if there was anything funky in it. The booth in front of him quickly snagged his attention though; a big bush of brown feathers.

"Bird people!" He gasped pointing at them like a three year old points at an elephant in the zoo. Alucard twisted around to look and said "Huh. Haven't seen one of them seen I was last in Egypt."

"You've met some before?" Pip asked.

"Yes. They're not very pleasant folks though." And then the vampire took a sip of beer.

"Man. So are there bars like this everywhere?"

"Not everywhere…there wouldn't be more than four in the whole of London. And this one is surprisingly…fancy." Alucard answered the mercenary.

"Are they only in England?"

"No…they're mostly in Europe, Asia, and the middle east. Don't bother looking in America, though. Last I heard, the only bar for supernatural things was turned into a strip club." Pip nodded and began staring at a couple of goat horned men that were arm wrestling.

He felt like his head might burst. Pip felt like he was in a dream; like he was having a delusional hallucination. He heard Alucard clear his throat, awkwardly.

"How are you coming along?" The vampire asked him.

"Huh?" Pip snapped his head back to face Alucard, who gestured to the bandages on Pip's hand.

"The ghoul bite. That's what this is all about; your sudden fascination with the supernatural." And then the words 'my fascination with the supernatural and _you_, Alucard' flickered though Pip's head, but he ignored it and took a swig of beer.

"Pretty much. It just…never occurred to me until then how ignorant I was. I've never really been big on over thinking things, but that whole ghoul thing made me…suddenly aware of everything." Pip said. Alucard raised his eyebrows.

"Everything?" He asked.

"Yeah. I mean, how close was I to becoming a ghoul? And it just never occurred to me that it could've happened to me at any time, regardless of me being aware of its existence. When me and the other Geese were in Brazil two years before, I could've been torn to shreds by some vampire. I would not have had a single clue what to do! If some motherfucking _human_ had come along, then it's all in the bag; it'd just be another day. But really, I've been living my whole life surrounded by people's worst nightmares, and I never even realized it till now." The mercenary sighed deeply and held his head in his hands.

"It's like waking up to suddenly find you've been sucked into a horror movie." Alucard cocked his head to the side and stared at the human.

"And you've been in Hellsing nearly a year and you've only just come to that conclusion?" He asked Pip, chuckling.

"You're a little slow." Pip smiled at him.

"I guess so…but it was just that fucking ghoul. I've never come anywhere near that close to an actual ghoul. It…_touched_ me."

"So only when you physically touch it does this whole situation seem tangible? You're a strange man." Alucard said, and Pip shrugged.

"It just perplexes me that all these things really do exist. It's like, now there's no stopping what could be real now. Maybe I'll wake up one morning and find a mummy next to me in bed."

"…what about a vampire?" Alucard said quietly. Pip laughed half heartedly and then there's silence between them. Alucard absently fiddled with the zipper on his jacket, while Pip finished the rest of his drink. He belched and slammed his jug down and suddenly said;

"I want to talk to one of them!" Alucard looked up and frowned.

"I would not recommend that, Pip, unless you want to be eaten alive." He warned. Pip just grinned at him and stood up, wandering over to the booth in front of theirs. He tapped one of the bird man's shoulders and, cheerily, greeted him hello. The creatures stared at the man, their eyebrows high up. Then the two creatures looked at each other, than back at Pip, adjusted their suspenders, then got up, and threw a punch.

Their wings bristled; a huge fist went sailing for Pip's face, who was too stunned to dodge it. Luckily though, he didn't have too. Alucard pulled him backwards and let out a snarl. The bird man squawked furiously back to him, his wings beating the air in anger. The aggravated thing swung another punch – this time at Alucard. The vampire caught it in his own vice grip, and grinned when he heard the bones snap like twigs under a boot. The bird wailed and crumpled to the ground, curling around its crushed hand. Its partner lunged at Alucard, who simply stepped aside, and the bird man lunched, head first, into a big burly ogre. The two crashed into the booth with the fairies, which shrieked and beat them with their purses.

The other occupants joined in and were yelling and crying out. They began to punch each other, flip tables, and throw drinks and tackling the closest person they could see. Furniture was toppled on themselves, glasses smashed into the walls, splattering liquor and ice everywhere. Alucard clutched Pip, just as the Minotaur began charging for them. They burst out the door and then disappeared into a cloud of shadows, the angry commotion becoming nothing but a faint hum.

They emerged from the shadows in an empty street several blocks away. Pip was panting, and Alucard was brushing the dirt of his pants.

"Alright." Pip said, after taking deep breaths and smoothing back his hair. "That was totally my bad." Alucard just glared at him. They stood underneath street lamp, which flickered on and off. In the distance, they could hear car wheels screeching, and a dog barked angrily in reply. Pip felt tired and jittery with electrified nerves, but he didn't want to go home. He liked the smell of the night air, and he liked the way Alucard looked in jeans.

…did he really just think that? Alucard just stared at him (the bastard could do that for hours, it seemed).

"Next time, let's not aggravate the bird men and the ogres, hmm?" Alucard smirked. And Pip smiled and said;

"You got a kick out of it, though, didn't you? Nothing like a relaxing night of breaking bones, eh?" They chuckled, and began walking down the street.

"So what do you wanna do now? I really don't feel like heading back just yet, and hey, it's still dark…" Pip said. He heard Alucard 'hmm' and then felt cold lip on his cheek. He felt his body go strangely warm, and for the first time since the ghoul attack he felt at ease.

"Yeah, we've still got time." Alucard said, and then Pip wondered what the night might lead to, now that he's seen everything.

* * *

OH MAN. MAN KISSES. CHILDREN, AVERT YOUR EYES! Sorry this is so late gang, but I was terribly busy with the usual thing. Y'know, brain surgery, building rockets, climbing volcanoes, just my normal past time things.

ANYWAY, when I was writing about the bar for the supernatural, I was so tempted to make it that alien bar in Star Wars. Oh god, so well, aren't you at elast glad things are FINALLY moving between Pip and Alucard, becuase I sure as hell am.

Thanks for reviewing and faving everyone, and just generally sticking with this story.


	4. Beach Boys

AHEM. Okay, number one, I apologize profusely for the lateness of this. I just got really stuck because of the things happening in life and I gave up for a while (my family just kind of imploded in on itself and needed some time to find solid ground, suffice it to say.)

Secondly, this is kind of just a filler chapter. Still, I hope it's okay for the time being.

Thirdly, thank you so much for all your kind reviews and patience. It's very much appreciated.

P.S, If there's a particular mythical creature that you'd like to pop up in the story, don't be afraid to say so.

* * *

It was hideous. No, it was _beyond_ hideous. A new definition needed to be created to describe the wriggling, slimy thing that lounged before Pip.

Its back was hunched over. Thick, black and soaking wet hair hung heavily down in front of its face and to its chest. The skin was a sickly gray colour and had obviously never known the pleasure of being completely dry before. Where the sad thing's waist began, the colour of its skin grew darker until the texture became more rubbery and thin scales appeared, black like coal. The rest of it was not visible beyond the pool it stood in. Great thick tentacles protruded out from the water to curl and swish in what seemed to be curiosity. The sea monster twitched now and then, and horrible wet sucking sounds came from behind the veil of hair, and Pip suspected that there were gills somewhere. Its hands were stick thin, and the fingers seemed to be actual long, full claws.

When Alucard had said "I can show you a mermaid", this miserable thing was not what Pip had expected.

Pip scrunched up his nose and sighed, crouching down to cross off 'sea monsters' from his notebook. He didn't exactly feel disappointed, since Alucard had warned him before that mermaids were really just another kind of hideous sea monster, an underwater predator lurking mysteriously in the depths.

But damn, years of fairy tales and Disney movies certainly hadn't prepared him for that.

They were standing among the rock pools by the shore, as great cliffs towered over above them. The rocks that made up the ground were jagged and slippery. Seaweed lay in large heaps at almost every turn, and the small pools of water in the ground filled with sea water held tiny life, like crabs and fish and urchins. It was amusing to see the vampire crouch down suddenly to examine the pools. A look of serene contemplation would cross his face, and then he'd leap up again and stalk passed Pip as if nothing had happened. It made Pip smile.

The mermaid was currently settled in the biggest rock pool encountered, as it had crawled up from the lapping waves below after spying Alucard.

"Satisfied?" Alucard asked. Pip shrugged, then stuffed his pen and book back into his bag and looked back up at the monster.

"So it can understand you?" The human questioned. The vampire paused for a moment to consider his answer.

"It does not understand language, no, but as an animal – a relatively intelligent one at that – it responds to certain calls and mannerisms. Some of my kind, mostly only vampires of my age and calibre, can communicate through a high pitched call; it's similar to a sigh, actually. Humans can't hear, though sometimes a dog or wolf can, but this creature here obviously heard it. I made a few as we walked from the shore."

The monster really never ceased to amaze Pip, in either his strange powers or his strange behaviours. He was about to ask another question when the mermaid made a sudden loud wheezing, keening sound, and a tentacle dived into the water, pulling out a small, fidgeting crap in its grip.

And then Pip had the unpleasant privilege of watching the mermaid's hair part ways just a little bit to reveal a ghastly mouth. The lower jaw jutted out, and a row of hundreds of thin, sharp yellow teeth came into sight, like an angler fish's mouth. The tentacle lowered the poor crab into the waiting maw, and it was devoured. Pip felt his appetite disappear as he heard the wet, crunching sounds.

"Nature at its finest." Alucard snickered. Pip frowned.

"I wanted fish and chips, vampire." He muttered. "Now I don't think I can eat _anything_ for weeks."

The creature then slowly crawled away after that, its bulbous octopus body slowly dragging itself away, over the rock ledge and back down into the salty water. Once he was sure it was a reasonable distance away, Pip treaded over to the ledge and peered over, and he watched as the mermaid climbed down, the tentacles clinging to the rock surface with its suction caps. Very soon it was gone, leaving Pip and Alucard alone with the circling gulls.

Alucard stood close behind the human, about an inch away. He heard the human inhale, taking in the salty air, and Alucard did the same, but leaned closer so that smell of the ocean turned to Pip's smell. They sat on the ledge for a while, and they talked about all the beaches they had seen. Pip had seen far more oceans than Alucard. They discussed the sandy beaches of Brazil, and the rolling surf waves of Australia, and how once, during a holiday with some old mercenaries, Pip had almost drowned in Bondi amongst the other tourists.

Pip had read Dracula, recently, and he wondered about the great old Demeter.

"During those days," Alucard told him. "I was not fond of the ocean at all. And to this day, I hold no great love for it, though on rare occasions, it is nice to see it, when passing above it on a plane, or sitting here like this. Before Hellsing, I really only saw the ocean as a threat. Being on the Demeter...was not an experience I like to remember. Though through it, I learnt that sailors are tremendously thick dolts, and make for horrible meals." The vampire grinned widely. Pip grinned too. It was a morbid thing to say, but most of what Alucard said was morbid, and Pip was beginning to realise that some of the time that was unintentional. And Pip wasn't about to get hung up on a quirk that a fella couldn't shake. Pip was beginning to care less and less about the vampire's strange mannerisms; he used to wonder if maybe Alucard had it in him to restrain himself around humans, but now Pip berated himself for thinking such a thing. He felt suddenly privileged to be near someone so strange.

An hour passed them by. Still, they slowly walked down the length of the shore. Half of Pip remained to see the mermaid again, the other alien part just liked being in the vampire's company.

Inevitably of course, they both got bored. And so the only conclusion they could think of was to pull out their guns. Actual guns, of course.

They stood on the rotten pier and aimed their weapons at the circling birds above them. Lifting his arm up to the sky, Pip let his gun waver slowly, up and down, and then a little left. His finger pulled against the trigger, sending a gunshot which echoed throughout the air, disappearing into the sea. The heavy weight of a seagull thudded just ahead of the men. Small feathers floated slowly down after it. Alucard grunted, then aimed his own weapon, and without any hesitation fired several shots. Accordingly, birds plummeted down below, a corpse for each bullet. Pip whistled in admiration. Alucard looked nonchalant, but Pip didn't miss how his chest puffed up in pride.

The birds scattered in fear, darting across the sky to find safety. The two men gave a glance at each other, before they took off.

Pip ran back down the pier until the water was just lapping at the edges of sand beside it. He jumped off, cold, salty water surrounding his heels and soaking his jeans. The barrel of his gun met the sky once again as he fired at the retreating birds. He fired two, missed one bird and clipped another just on the wing, causing enough damage to bring it to the ground. He sped up, and then swiftly ran to his right, catching a flock of frightened birds in his peripheral. He aimed to shoot, but a blur whooshed passed him. The bullets sailed from the vampire's gun and into three birds. Pip messily shot into the birds who had narrowly escaped, but he only managed to shoot off some feathers. Pip heard the vampire laugh loudly behind him, as the mercenary watched the seagulls disappear. Alucard fired his own gun again, and Pip watched as a black dot that was a bird in the distance fell into the waiting sea. Alucard continued to laugh, and Pip panted lightly, smiling fondly, like how a parent does when they see their child playing in a park.

There was a time when Pip was little, and the adults would always be wanging on about how he would be such a little charming thing when he grew up. How he would be a heart breaker and a perfect little gentleman. They asked him which girl in his school he liked, if he wanted to marry someday, and would he marry in a church? Pip did not like those people, because they were annoying and intrusive, asking stupid questions when he was trying to play cowboy. He didn't like them because they lived in a world so different from his own, and they couldn't understand it. Pip wanted to be a cowboy, not a gentleman, and when he realised that he'd be a mercenary instead, any possibility of him becoming the young heart throb those adults prophesised him to be disappeared.

So it was probably appropriate that the closest thing to real romance Pip had experienced was shooting seagulls on a beach with a maniac vampire.

Any unease Pip had about hanging around the vampire completely vanished as he lay next to him on the beach. The sand was damp beneath his back, and the salt water crawled against his feet and through his shoes.

He panted, strong fresh air and the smell of gunpowder whirling into his lungs and nostrils. Alucard was still beside him, though he stared into the sky where birds had once been.


End file.
